New Beginnings
by SilverLady
Summary: Sequel to Twisted Fates.
1. Default Chapter

Category: Angst, AU  
  
Pairings: 1x2, 3x4  
  
Rating: R (?)  
  
Disclaimer: Standard. You know them all by now so I won't bore you with a repeat.  
  
Notes: This takes place in a world of my own making, where things can and are twisted into strange things. So what doesn't seem possible is. There are M/M relationships in this fic (I'm very much a 1x2/3x4 fan.) so if boys being together (and I do mean together) bothers you don't read.  
  
New Beginnings Part One  
  
By SilverLady  
  
Quatre sat staring at the fire, now and then huffing in annoyance. It wasn't fair. He had only been trying to help. It wasn't like he had done it on purpose. Trowa had acted as if he had done it on purposed, when he looked at him and told him calmly to go sit in the living room. "I was only helping," he muttered, but no one answered. "Out of harms way, he says, like I'm some kind of silly child. I…."  
  
"You know talking to yourself is the first sign of mental instability," a voice told him calmly.  
  
Quatre jumped and turned around, his hand on his chest. "Don't do that. You scared the heck out of me."  
  
Duo smiled at the other man's choice of words. He wondered if Quatre even knew how to cuss. "But it's all right you know."  
  
"What is?"  
  
"Talking to yourself."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Gotta have someone intelligent to talk to."  
  
Quatre's lips quirked at Duo's soft joke. "Some may beg to differ with you on that."  
  
Duo nodded as he made his way carefully across the room. "True." With a wince of pain he tried to hide, he sat down on the other end of the sofa. "What did you do this time?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Then why were you sent to the couch then?"  
  
"I was just helping Trowa and Wufei make dinner."  
  
Duo smiled, knowing where this was headed. The past few weeks had shown him just how hopeless Quatre was in the kitchen. "Who did you burn this time?"  
  
"I didn't," Quatre protested. "I just…."  
  
Duo arched an eyebrow, but said nothing.  
  
"I just accidentally put salt instead of sugar in the cookie batter Trowa was making."  
  
Duo winced. "Oh, not good."  
  
"I didn't know. I was just…."  
  
"Helping. Quatre, admit it. You are a walking disaster in the kitchen."  
  
Quatre sighed. "But I don't want to just sit around and do nothing. I want to help. I want to feel as if I'm pulling my weight around here. Shoot, even Heero is more help than I am and he can barely get around."  
  
Duo frowned at the mention of Heero. He still hadn't figured out what was going on with him. One minute he'd been ready to leave and the next he was making himself right to home. Duo didn't like it when things didn't go the way he thought they were going to go. It didn't help that Heero made him nervous and he didn't really know why.  
  
Quatre watched Duo for a minute. "Are you all right?" he asked worriedly.  
  
Duo turned his head. "I'm fine, just thinking."  
  
"Are you sure? I saw you wince when you sat down. Should it still be hurting like that?"  
  
Duo sighed. "The…. miscarriage tore me up a bit. Adrianna said it would take some time for me to heal. It's not that bad. Just a twinge now and then."  
  
Quatre sighed and looked down. Slowly he rested his hand on his stomach. "Duo?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Does it bother you?"  
  
"What bother me?"  
  
"Me. Staying here after what happened. I mean…"  
  
Duo leaned over and unerringly placed his hand over Quatre's. "Why should it?"  
  
"But… I don't want to hurt you or anything, being a reminder of what happened."  
  
"It's okay. I'm glad for you. And you are a reminder, a reminder of the good things in this life. For some reason, my son simply was not meant to live in this world. But I have another son and he is happy and healthy. As I hope you child is." Duo smiled. "Besides, I'd worry a lot more if you weren't here. Then I wouldn't know if you were okay or not."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Very much so."  
  
"But Heero…."  
  
Duo sighed and leaned back. "Is another story. One that I haven't figured out yet."  
  
Quatre looked at Duo for a long moment. "Are you really sure you're all right?"  
  
Duo sighed again. "As all right as can be expected." He turned his head towards Quatre's voice. "It hurts, but it will be okay. It has to be." 


	2. Chapter Two

Category: Angst, AU 

Pairings: 1x2, 3x4

Rating: R (?)

Disclaimer: Standard. You know them all by now so I won't bore you with a repeat.

Notes: This takes place in a world of my own making, where things can and are twisted into strange things. So what doesn't seem possible is. There are M/M relationships in this fic (I'm very much a 1x2/3x4 fan.) so if boys being together (and I do mean together) bothers you don't read. 

Additional note: Just in case you haven't noticed, my e-mail address has changed. It is now DuoHiro@comcast.net.

New Beginnings Part Two

By SilverLady

Duo sat up with a gasp, clamping his hand to his mouth to stifle the scream that rose in his throat.

Sobbing softly, he rocked back and forth. Again. It had happened again. Nightmares that had seemed to have taken up permanent residence in his dreams had come again that night. _Why? Why do I have to keep reliving it over and over? Why can't I get over it?_

They had started a few weeks ago and had become relentless in their return. If it wasn't dreams of a small child blaming him for not being allowed to live; it was of Ken, turning his back with hatred for what Duo had done or of Heero, his eyes blazing with anger as he yelled at him for stealing his son away and denying him the chance to watch Ken grow up.

Even now he was afraid. Afraid of what Ken would do if he found out that Heero was his father. Afraid that Heero would tire of waiting for him to say something and tell Ken himself. Duo sensed that the two were becoming fast friends and though a part of him was glad that the two were getting along another part of him dreaded it. What would happen if Ken found out the secret he had been keeping from him?

The ache over the loss of the baby and the fear of the possible loss of Ken was slowing wearing him down. It was getting to the point where he could neither eat nor sleep. He jumped at the slightest noise and would start crying at the drop of a hat. He knew the others were worried, a fact that amazed him considering the short amount of time he had known them; but he simply couldn't bring himself to open up and talk to anyone about his fears.

Rising shakily to his feet, he made his way over to the window seat. Curling up in it, he pressed his cheek to the cool glass and started blankly out into the yard. At times like this he like to stare out the window and imagine the scenes he had witnessed out this window before the fever had stolen his sight. His favorite was from a night shortly after he and Ken had moved in. It had snowed during the day, but the weather had cleared by night fall and the moon had glowed brightly over the yard. It had been so serene and so mysterious that Duo had sat and stared for hours, finally falling asleep there. 

The remembered view often gave him peace, but tonight it wasn't working. His mind was rolling with the turmoil inside him, not allowing him the peace he desperately needed. 

_Oh god, what am I going to do? I know, intellectually, that there was nothing I could have done to prevent David's death, but my heart doesn't feel that way. It aches so much for losing him. I know that some feel it was for the best, that a child conceived in such violence was not a good thing, but he was my son and I love him._

_And I'm so scared that Ken will hate me for taking him away from his father. That he will want to go with Heero when they leave. I can't bear to lose him. It would kill me. But how can he not be angry at me. I denied him the chance to know his father at all and now that he is here I have kept them apart by not telling him. _

_Yet I think it's Heero's anger that I fear the most. I stole his child away without him ever knowing. Even though I felt I was doing the right thing, did I? Would it have been better to stay and try to salvage at least a little of the relationship for the sake of our child? Would it have been so awful to have had him a least part of the time? It really wouldn't have been much different than before._

A long shuddering sigh ran through him. He really didn't know what to do next.

Just then he heard the faint sound of his door being opened. Schooling his face to not show the turmoil he felt he turned. "Who's there?" he asked softly.

"Daddy?" Ken's small whisper drifted over to him.

Duo was instantly on his feet and moving towards the door. "What wrong?"

"I couldn't sleep. Can I stay with you tonight?"

Gathering his son close to him, he guided the boy towards his bed. "Of course you can. You know that."

"Kay."

Duo heard a slight squeak as Ken clambered up into the bed. Getting into the bed himself, he leaned back against the headboard. Within moments he found his arms full of wiggling little boy. 

"What's wrong? Did you have a bad dream?"

Ken sighed contentedly as he settled into his father's arms. "No."

"Then what?"

"I was worried about you. I thought you might be lonely. I know you miss the baby."

Duo smiled as he nuzzled his son's hair. "Thank you for being worried. I'll be all right."

"But you still have bad dreams."

Duo was at a loss for words. How had his son know about the nightmares?

"But I won't let them scare you no more. I'll stay with you."

Duo swallowed heavily, trying to clear the lump in his throat. "Thank you."

Ken was quiet for several minutes, idly playing with his hands. "Daddy," he finally whispered.

"Yes," Duo replied sleepily. Sitting here holding Ken was calming his frayed nerves and, for the first time in weeks, relaxing him enough that he was actually tired.

"How come you don't like Heero?"

Duo was instantly wide awake again. "What makes you say that?"

"You never talk to him and you always have something else to do when he comes into the room. It makes him sad."

Duo blinked. "Sad?" _Heero Yuy sad?__ I didn't think that was possible._

"Yeah."

"Why do say that?"

"Cause he looks sad when you leave. He watches you all the time and he has this really sad look in his eyes. Like he's lost something that he misses a lot."

"He watches me?"  
  


"All the time. And he always looks for you first thing when he comes into a room. I think he likes you. Why don't you like him?"

Duo sighed. He knew this was the time he had been dreading. He could brush it aside, but it wouldn't solve anything and it would just come back later. _Might as well get it over with._

"I… I knew Heero a long time ago."

"You did?"

"Yes."

"How long ago? Before I was born?"

"Yes. I met him in the park in the city where I lived."

"Did you like him then?"

"Not at first. But later, I did."

"A lot?"

"Yes."

"Did he know my father?"

 Duo closed his eyes and swallowed heavily. "He is your father," he whispered.

Ken was quiet for a long moment. "Heero is my other daddy?"

"Yes."

Ken stared at Duo for long minutes, remembering the stories that he had told him. "But why don't you like him now?"

Duo sighed. "That's the problem. I still do. Very much. And it hurts. I'm afraid he doesn't understand why I left."

"Because of me?"

"No. Not entirely."

"Did he know about me at all?"

"No. I didn't tell him. It would have made things….. more complicated."

"But he knows now."

"Yes. I told him right before I…. lost the baby."

"Oh." Ken was quiet for a moment. "Okay."

Duo blinked. "Okay?"

"Yeah, I just was wondering why you didn't want to stay in the same room."

"You're…. not mad at me."

Ken looked up as his father. "You didn't what you had to, right? That's what you always told me. But now Heero's back and I think he wants to be friends with you again. I wouldn't mind. I like him. I'm glad he's my other daddy." Ken cuddled up against Duo. "Night, Daddy. I love you." With a soft sigh, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Duo could only sit there in shock. How could Ken be so calmly accepting? Where were the angry words and the tears that had haunted his dreams? Surely things couldn't be this easy. 

_I guess I am never going to understand my son._

Finally, he drifted off to sleep. And there were no nightmares to wrench his world apart.

*****

The next morning Duo was in the kitchen early, fixing breakfast. He awoken feeling more relaxed than he had in some time. And, more importantly, he had woke up feeling hungry.

"You're up early this morning," a voice stated calmly behind him.

Duo smiled slightly. "Was actually hungry this morning and figured you were probably tired of your own cooking so I thought I'd make breakfast."

Wufei snorted as he made his way over to the table. "Is my cooking that bad?"

"No. It's just…."

"Passable?" another voice asked.

Wufei glared at Trowa as he walked into the room, followed by a sleepy looking Quatre. 

"And you are so much better?"

Trowa smiled. "No." He looked at Duo. "I'm glad you are feeling better this morning."

Quatre blinked sleepily. "Food?" he asked in a fuzzy voice.

Duo laughed then, the first real laugh in a long time. "In a minute."

"Kay." Quatre made his way over to the table and sat down.

Trowa shook his head, but followed.

Just as Duo was placing a large plate of pancakes on the table, Ken bounced into the room. "Daddy! Why didn't you get me up?"

"I thought you would like to sleep in this morning?"

Ken huffed as he sat down in his favorite chair. "I could have helped you."

Duo reached out and ruffled his hair. "I know."

Ken batted his father's hand away. "Daddy! Don't mess up my hair."

"Sorry." Duo tried to look contrite, but failed miserably. 

"Just don't do it again."

The others laughed as they began to eat the food Duo placed before them.

They were all so busy eating that they didn't notice that Heero had finally made his way downstairs to join them, grumbling under his breath about the lack of help. 

Ken looked up as Heero entered the room. "Morning, Heero Daddy," he chirped happily.

Absolute silence fell on the room as every turned to stare at the little boy.

"Heero ….. Daddy," Wufei choked out.


	3. Chapter Three

Category: Angst, AU 

Pairings: 1x2, 3x4

Rating: R (?)

Disclaimer: Standard. You know them all by now so I won't bore you with a repeat.

Notes: This takes place in a world of my own making, where things can and are twisted into strange things. So what doesn't seem possible is. There are M/M relationships in this fic (I'm very much a 1x2/3x4 fan.) so if boys being together (and I do mean together) bothers you don't read. 

New Beginnings Part Three

By SilverLady

Duo groaned as he sank into a chair. _Out of the mouths of babes.___

Ken, seemingly oblivious to the bomb he'd just dropped, shoveled the last of his breakfast into his mouth. "Daddy?"

Duo turned his head slightly. "Yes?"

"Can I go now? I cleaned my plate."

"Yes, you can go."

"Hooray!" The boy scrambled down from his seat and ran around the table to hug Duo. "Love you, Daddy."

Duo smiled as he returned the hug. "I love you, too."

Ken beamed happily as he waved at the others. "Bye."

As he dashed from the room, he paused to give Heero a quick hug. "Bye."

Heero stared at the door for several minutes before turning to look at Duo. "You told him?" There was an odd catch in his voice.

Duo slowly nodded.

"When?"

"Last night."

"Why?"

"Because he asked me. I couldn't lie to him."

"As you've lied to him in the past?" A hint of anger crept into Heero's voice. He had moved across the room and carefully sat down in Ken's vacant seat.

"I never lied to him. I just never told him more than I thought  he needed to hear."

"What the hell are you two talking about?" Wufei interrupted abruptly. "And why the hell did he call Heero Daddy?"

Quatre nodded in agreement to Wufei's question, glad that someone had found the voice. He was still stunned by the innocent comment.

Trowa looked at Heero then at Duo. "Because Heero is Ken's father."

Duo's head shot up at the quiet comment. "You knew?"

"Heero told me. The day you lost the baby. He was stewing on the couch and it was upsetting Quatre."

Duo sighed. _I guess it's time to come clean._

Quatre looked at Duo. "That's what's been bugging you about Heero being here?"

Duo nodded. "I really never expected to see him again."

Wufei started at him for a moment. "You're the one."  
  
Duo frowned slightly. "The one?"

"The one Heero damn near tore the town apart looking for. Drove everyone crazy too."

"Why did you leave?" Quatre asked softly.

"That was my fault," Heero responded, trying not to cringe at the look that flashed across Duo's face at his words. "I was behaving like an ass and never stopped to think about he might feel about all my great plans. I hadn't told him about my upcoming marriage, partialy because I didn't want to think about it and partialy because I honestly didn't think it was that important. I had finally found someone that….  made me feel alive. I didn't want to intrude on that with reality."

Duo sighed. If he had just stayed insteading of running away, maybe things would have been better. "I heard a lot of people talking in the market one day. I had planned a special dinner to celelbrate. It was the six month anniversary of our first night together and I wanted to do something special. Heero had bought this small place for us to meet at. I couldn't believe what everyone was saying. I was sure that he would tell me about something as important as him getting married. I waited for hours for him to show up and when he did I confronted him."

"I told him it was true, but that it didn't change how I felt and it wasn't important. That I had found this small cottage outside the city and I wanted him to move into it. I wanted him to have all the things he hadn't had before." Heero looked over at Duo, willing him to understand the motives behind what he had done.

"But all he made me feel was like a cheap whore. A dirty secret that he would hide out in the country like all the other nobles did. And I couldn't make him understand that. He didn't see any problem with his plans. Everyone else did it. And when he touched me, I couldn't think straight anymore. So I left. It was the only thing I could think of to do. It hurt so much to leave, but I had too much pride to stay." Duo sighed again. "I think that was the night Ken was conceived."

"But when you found out you were pregnant. Why didn't you tell him?" Quatre asked, trying to understand exactly what had happened between his step-brother and his new friend.

"I thought about it, but I couldn't. It wouldn't change anything and I couldn't bear the thought of trying to explain to my child why Daddy didn't stay with us all the time. It was better to sever the connection completely that to continuously open old wounds. Plus, I didn't want to see Heero married to someone else." The last was spoken in a soft whisper.

He jumped slightly when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"I made so many damn mistakes when it came to us and I've continued to make them since we got here," Heero spoke softly. "But I never stopped loving you. I really would like to see if there is anything left to salvage between us. Maybe this time I can keep my head out of my ass and pay more attention to what you are saying, not just what I want to hear."

Duo scrunched his eyes shut at Heero's words. "I…. I want to, to, but…"  
  


"It's enough for now."

Duo raised his head to stare blindly at Heero, tears welling up in his eyes. "Is it?"

Heero gently wiped the tears away. "Yes."

Quatre glanced at Trowa and Wufei, who both nodded to his silent question. With the utmost stealth, the three slipped from the room, leaving the two former lovers to try and start again, without an audience. 


	4. Chapter Four

New Beginnings Part Four 

By SilverLady

Quatre sat on his bed, pouting.

I am not pouting, I do not pout. I am expressing my mood creatively. I have the right to be upset. But I am not pouting.

Quatre sighed.

Oh, heck. I'm pouting. But it's so unfair. They treat me like I'm going to collapse if I do the slightest strenuous thing. And Trowa hasn't made love to me in weeks. I'm pregnant not dying. I am perfectly fine. Adrianna even said everything was fine and she should know. I don't know why I can't help. I'm sure there is something I can do that I won't mess up. I'm not completely useless.

"Quatre are you pouting again?" 

Quatre looked up at Duo. "No."

Duo smiled. "Yes you are. Why don't you come help me in the garden? You can make sure I don't pull up the plants instead of the weeds."

"And you don't think I won't. I wouldn't know how to tell a good plant from a bad plant."

"Good it'll be interesting then."  Duo smiled again. "Come on. You need to get out of the house and quit pouting."

"I am not pouting."

"Sulking then. Same thing. Come on."

"You don't think I'll strain something."

Duo gave him a funny look.  "You're pregnant, not dying."

Quatre sighed and stood up. "It's just….." He looked down at his swelling abdomen.

"You're tired, getting uncomfortable, feel like a bloated whale, wish you could remember what your feet look like, wonder how much longer it's gonna be, feel like you've been pregnant forever, wish the kid would quit bouncing on your bladder and quit doing it's circus impressions at two in the morning, can't wait to see how beautiful your child is, want to make love to your love so much it hurts, wish you had taken that last slice of pie, wonder if you can talk someone into making you something to eat, want to do something, wish everyone would quit treating you like spun glass, want to get out, want to sit around and do nothing, and realize you still have three and a half months to go."  Duo smiled. "Did I cover it all?"

Quatre looked at him in amazement and blinked. "I think so." 

"Good, now lets go pull out the vegetable plants and leave the weeds cause you don't know which one is which and I can't see which one is which."

Quatre followed Duo from the room. "Duo?"

"Yes."

"What drugs have you been taking and can I have some?"

Duo's laugh rang out down the hall as the two made their way down the stairs.

***

"Quatre, what are you doing?" Trowa's panicked voice made both Duo and Quatre jump.

"Jeez, scare the shit out of the blind guy. Trowa you could warn a guy before you start yelling. Step on a stick or something. Let me know you there the next time." Duo grumbled as he reached for the next plant.

"Uh, Duo, I think we want to keep that one," Quatre said.

Duo stopped. "Why?"

"It's got lots of little yellow flowers and little green things."

"It's a tomato plant."  Trowa informed him as he walked up. "And you didn't answer the question."

"I'm helping Duo weed."

"Quatre you should be resting not out here in the hot sun pulling up plants. What if you got dizzy or overheated or…."  
  


"Trowa!" 

Trowa looked at Duo. "Yes."

"Chill. He's fine. He's been helping me. The exercise and the fresh air will do him good. You need to quite being so damn paranoid about every little thing."

"But…."

Duo turned to where he knew Trowa was standing. "Trowa, I walked from Shadar to here while I was pregnant with Ken. I don't think that pulling a few weeds with hurt him."

Quatre looked at Duo. "You walked? By yourself?"

"I wasn't completely alone. I had Ken."

"But…"

"Quatre, I had the clothes on my body and some money I had managed to save from working before I met Heero. I couldn't afford a ride or a horse or anything like that. I slept where I could and scrounged food when I had the chance. It wasn't that big a deal. I'd been doing it since I was eight."

"But…"

Trowa looked at the young man in front of him. There was a lot more to him than met the eye. "Heero said he met you in a park."

"The park."

Trowa sat down on the ground next to Quatre and began picking weeds. He figured someone should be doing this that had some clue as to what he was doing. Besides he wanted to hear Duo's story. "The park?"

"There was only one park in Shadar…."

"There was lots of parks in Shadar," Quatre protested.

"There was only one that the working people was allowed to go to."

Quatre blinked, but realized that Duo was right. "The one with the big tree near the river?"

Duo nodded.

"Heero like to go there and think. He did it when ever he got mad at Father."

"Yeah. He wasn't happy that someone else had found his spot."

Trowa plucked up another weed. "Why were you there?"

"It was a place where I could get away from work and life for a while."

"What about your parents?"

"They were dead. They died when I was eight. Mom got sick and after she died Dad just gave up. He died only a few weeks after Mom."

"Where did you live after that?"  
  


"Any place I could."

"On the streets?" Quatre's voice was horrified.

"As I told Heero then, it was better than the alternative."

Trowa nodded. He had heard and seen some of the homes for the poor in Shadar, they hadn't been pretty.

"What did you do to earn money?"

He was surprised when Duo turned red and looked away. 

Quatre blinked at Duo's obvious embarrassment. Duo mumbled something but he couldn't understand what he said. "What?"

Duo turned back towards the two men. "I said I gave men blow jobs in the taverns and if you ever breath a word of it in front of Ken I'll wring your necks."

Quatre looked at Duo in stunned shock. "Did Heero?"

Duo nodded. "He spotted me while he was out carousing on his twenty first birthday. He showed up at the park spitting mad. Called me a whore and a whole lot more." Duo gave and odd smile. "It was the first time we made love."

"You didn't?"

Duo shook his head violently. "I wasn't quite that stupid yet. I'd never had sex with anyone before Heero and never since, except for those bandits. And that wasn't by my choice."

"You love him?"

"He was the most arrogant, snot nosed, hard headed prick I'd ever had the misfortune to met and I feel head over heels in love with him almost as soon as I met him. Sad, ain't it?"

"You hated him too, didn't you." Trowa commented.

"Yeah. He represented everything I hated in the world at that time. The rich nobles that had taken away my family and made me do the things I did to survive." Duo smiled sadly. "Always figured Fate was laughin' her ass off at me."

"And now?"

"I don't really know. I was mad as hell at him when I left Shadar, but I still loved him so damn much. I woulda gone back in a heartbeat if he'd given me any indication that he actually was listenin' to what I was sayin', but… I stood outside that stupid church like a damn fool while he married his chosen bride. I knew he hadn't paid any attention at all. I wasn't gonna be the 'other woman'. Right after that I found out about Ken and I knew I had to make something for myself, by myself." He raised his head and looked blankly at the sky. "I swear I didn't know nothin' about that part of me. I had no idea that somethin' like that could happen. I was shocked as hell when that old guy told me I'd been feelin' sick cause I had a baby growin' inside me. Told him he was crazy. Then he took this tool and put it against my belly so I could listen to the heartbeat. Damn near fell off the table. And the first thing I thought, after I got myself convince that the old guy wasn't lying, was that I had to tell Heero, cause he should know about his child. And the second thing I thought was that it wasn't gonna make any difference. He was still married and would still expect me to go live at his little house in the country and be the good little mistress, specially with a baby on the way. So I started walkin'. And I kept walkin' till I got here. I'd stopped in Deran, cause I figure it would be a good place to hole up till the baby was born and I liked the old doctor I had met when I got to town, but somethin' kept makin' me want to keep goin'. So I left and wound up goin' into labor on the side of the mountain with this bad storm comin'. Luckily, Adrianna found me before Ken was born and got me to her place. I owe her mine and Ken's lives. She wasn't too happy when I said I was gonna be movin' on as soon as the storm was over and I think she thought I was just a bit irresponsible cause I told her I was gonna keep Ken, but I didn't have any idea what I was gonna do. She said it wasn't safe to travel with winter comin' so she offered to find me a place to stay 'til warm weather got here. Place she found was this one. I knew it was what I'd been lookin' for from the moment I walked in the front door and I've been here ever since."

Duo suddenly sat back, realizing just how much of his life he had just spilled. "Um, I guess you notice I have a tendancy to run off at the mouth sometimes."

Trowa smiled. "Actually, what I noticed is that your accent goes all to hell when you get really wound up." He reached over and patted Duo's knee. "And thank you for telling us.

Duo blinked. "Sure, no problem."

Trowa turned and looked at Quatre. "And as for you."

Quatre looked indignant. "Trowa."

"Don't overextend yourself. You don't have to weed the whole garden today. And I'd find out if anybody's got a book about plants so you'll be able to tell the vegetables from the weeds." Trowa leaned forward and gave Quatre a kiss before rising to his feet. "I have to go help Wufei in the barn. I'll see you later."

Quatre watched as Trowa walked away. "That was…."

"Interesting?"

"Definitely." 

"Think he listened?"

"Yes."

"Good. Now am I about to pull up a weed or another tomato plant?"

Quatre looked at the plant in question. "Duo?"

"Yes?"

"Do you have a book on plants?"

Duo laughed. "Sure do. Let's go find it."

Quatre grinned as Duo helped him to his feet. "Sorry I'm not much help."

"Quatre, the first time I had this garden, I pulled up half the carrots, most of the beets, killed the tomatoes and had the best crop of ragweed you'd ever seen. And you don't even want to know what I tried to grow as beans. I sat in my kitchen and cried. Then Bill Grendal dropped this book in front of me and said 'Read this if you ever want to get anything edible out of that garden.' That book was a life saver. So you ain't no worse off than me."

Quatre smiled. "Thanks."

"Anytime. Let's go find that book. Before we kill a harmless tomato plant."

Quatre laughed as he followed Duo back to the house.

***

Duo smiled as he listened to the moans coming from Quatre and Trowa's room late that night. _Guess he's figured out that he ain't gonna break. Now if I only could do some moaning of my own, things would be pretty damn good._


	5. Chapter Five

New Beginnings  Part Five

By SilverLady

Quatre lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling and contemplating the patterns in it. He'd asked Duo about it once, but Duo hadn't been able to really tell him much about it. It seemed that the original owner of the house had been considered more than a little…. weird by the people in town. Quatre had learned that there were a lot of things in the house that were odd.

He blinked slightly as he studied one of the 'pictures' on the ceiling. He could feel his face turning red as he realized just what it looked like to him. _I really hope I'm seeing things. Either that or I hope Ken doesn't pay attention to them for a very long time. That's really, really twisted._

A few minutes passed before Quatre huffed a little and turned his head to look at his sleeping partner. He'd hoped that if he just laid here for a while he would be able to go back to sleep, but that apparently wasn't going to happen. It seemed like something was determined to keep him awake. 

At first he'd thought that maybe the baby had woken him, but after a few minutes he realized that it was another part of his abdomen that had been complaining. A loud gurgling growl punctuated that thought.

He was hungry, damn it. And he had a sudden strong craving for a thick slice of the bread that Duo had made the day before, slathered with butter and maybe some honey. Honey sounded real good. Nice and thick and sweet. Just what he needed. He hoped that there was some left. 

Of course, it was in the kitchen and he was here, in his nice warm bed. Upstairs. But he really wanted that bread now.

Frowning slightly he eased himself out of the bed. He'd hoped that Trowa would have realized that he was up and wake up himself. It would have been so much nicer to get Trowa to go get his bread and honey. But he didn't want to wake him up just for that. Trowa had been very late getting to bed the night before, though Quatre didn't know why, and Quatre didn't want to wake him up just because he'd had a snack attack. Or as Duo would call it, a stark raving craving. 

It wasn't as if he wasn't capable of going and getting his own bread. In fact, he'd been moping around just a few days before because it seemed no one wanted him to do anything. So it seemed silly to expect Trowa to get up and go down to that cold dark kitchen when he was especially tired just because he wanted some bread. With honey. And maybe a cup of tea. Or fruit juice. Or something. 

He was going to be really glad when these mood swings of his quit. He really didn't like being so wishy washy.

Grabbing his robe from the end of the bed he headed for the door, trying to ignore his grumbling belly. 

"Just hang on a few minutes," he whispered to himself. 

He didn't notice that one green eye opened to watch him as he left the room. Trowa sighed when he realized he'd managed to duck out of whatever it was Quatre wanted this time. With a heart-felt sigh he closed his eye and nuzzled deeper into the blankets. He really was very tired.

****

Quatre paused when he realized he heard noises coming from the kitchen. _Now who else could be up at this time of the night? _He glanced out the window, noticing that the sky was tinted a faint shade of pink. _Make that really early morning._

Moving carefully he walked into the kitchen, stopping just inside the doorway to let his eyes adjust. He could tell that there was someone moving around in the room, but couldn't see who it was. "Duo?" he asked softly, figuring that he would be the only one in the kitchen with no light.

Duo jerked around in surprise at the voice. He hadn't even realized that anyone had entered the room. "Quatre. Hang on a second and I'll get you a light." 

Quatre blinked when the large lantern that hung in the center of the room flared to life. "Thank you, I.." He looked around the room, amazed at the number of jars that took up every flat space in the large room. "I'm not disturbing you am I?"

Duo smiled as he pulled out a chair for Quatre. "No. Not at all. What brings you out so early in the morning?"

Before Quatre could answer, his stomach grumbled loudly. "Ummm."

Duo laughed. "Hungry. What would you like?"

Quatre sat down at the table, trying not to knock over any of the jars. "I don't want to be a bother."

Duo deftly picked up several of the jars that were in front of Quatre. "Believe me, I will tell you when you become a bother. Now, what did you want?"

"Bread."  
  


"With?"

"Butter."  
  


Duo smiled slightly. It was easier to get things out of Ken. "And?"

Quatre looked down. "Honey," he mumbled.

Duo laughed softly as he moved across the kitchen. "Bit of a sweet tooth this morning?"

Quatre blushed, glad that Duo couldn't see him. He decided to change the subject. "Duo, you weren't blind when you moved in here, were you?"

Duo placed the loaf of bread on the table and turned around to get the honey and butter. "No. I'd been here a couple of years before that happened. Why?"

"Did you ever really look at the pictures on your ceilings?"

Duo placed the honey in front of Quatre, who dipped his finger in it without thinking. "Which ceiling?"

"The one in my room."

Duo grinned. "Some really…. interesting ones in there."

Quatre blushed harder. "They're….."

"Perverted?"

"That's one word for them. I hope that Ken doesn't look up."

"I'm not worried."  
  


"Duo! One of those pictures looked like….."

"A guy having sex with a mule?"

"Duo!"

"Like I said, I'm not worried. That's the only room decorated with dirty pictures. The ceilings in the other room don't have anything like that."

Quatre gaped at Duo. "You…"

Duo blinked innocently. "Me?"

"You knew what the pictures on the ceiling were."

"Yes."

"And you deliberately put me in a room with dirty pictures on the ceiling."

"Well…"

Quatre clamped a hand to his forehead. "Me. In my delicate condition. You put me in a room full of perverted pictures. I shall be traumatized for life. What affect do you think that it will have on my poor unborn child?  Exposed to…"

"Quatre."

Quatre glanced at Duo. "Yes?"

"Can it."

Quatre huffed. "You're no fun."

Duo reached slowly for the honey, but Quatre spotted him and snatched it away. "You are not taking my honey away."

"I think you've had too much already."

"I haven't had any yet."

Duo snorted. "I don't believe that. I know how you are. You've probably already had your fingers in it."

Quatre glanced down at his sticky fingers. "Ummm."

"And don't try and deny it. Think you can fool the blind guy. Well you've got another thing coming. Just because…."

"Duo."

"What?"

"Can it."

Duo pouted for a moment before bursting into laughter. "I think we both have a problem this morning."

Quatre glanced around the kitchen again. "What is all of this for?"

"This what for?"

Quatre waved his hand. "The jars."

"Jam."

"You're in a jam?"

"No, silly. Jam. Strawberry. The berries are starting to ripen and I want to be ready. I make a lot of jam and preserves and I need a lot of jars. So I've been cleaning them and getting them ready."

"Couldn't sleep?"

Duo shook his head. "Nah. I just find this a good time of the day to get these kinds of chores out of the way. I don't have to worry about Ken trying to help. I don't want him breaking anything and it's just safer if I do it myself."

"So when are you going to start picking?"

"I figured I'd go out this morning and find out how things are going?"

"And how are you going to do that?"

"I take Ken with me. He knows what to look for." Duo turned around and picked up several more jars. He just knew what was going to be the next thing out of Quatre's mouth.

"Can I go with you?"

He knew it. "Quatre.."

"Please. I'll be careful. I won't touch anything. I just want to go along."

Duo smiled. "You sound like Ken."

"Well? Can I? Please."

"Why don't you find out if the others feel like going and we'll make a day of it. I can even pack a lunch."

"That sounds great. I'll go ask." Quatre went to stand up.

"Quatre?"  
  


"Yes?"

"Why don't you wait until they're awake before you ask?"

Quatre glanced out the window and realized it was still very early. Slowly he sat back down. "That probably would be a good idea."

"Thank you."

Quatre watched Duo move around the kitchen for a few minutes. "Duo?"

"Yes."

"How can you tell what time it is?"

Duo smiled slightly. Quatre was still full of questions about how he dealt with being blind. He had a feeling that Quatre had a hard time believing that it really wasn't as awful as it seemed to be. Though he had to admit, to himself, that it had been really hard and awful when it had first happened. It had been his need to take care of Ken that had gotten him through those tough early days.

"Different sounds. There are certain noises that only seem to happen at certain times of the day. Like you'll only hear some birds early in the morning. Things like that."

"Oh. You just…"

Duo moved over to sit down next to Quatre. "I just what?"

"You make it seem so simple. So easy. You never have any trouble doing things, like working in the kitchen or taking care of the garden or the animals or Ken. I feel so clumsy and useless next to you."

Duo reached over and put his hand over Quatre's. "It's never been simple or easy. I've just had lots of practice. I've been dealing with my blindness for three years now. Believe me, when I first lost my sight I really didn't know how I was going to cope. But I also knew that I was going to have to. That Ken needed me to keep going. Some days that was the only thing that got me out of bed in the morning. Knowing that Ken was counting on me to take care of him. You just have to be patient. You're in an unfamiliar situation and it's going to take time for you to adjust. But I really think if you just relax and not try and do more than you can, you'll be fine."

"I'm hopeless in the kitchen."  
  


"Because you try to hard and get ahead of yourself. Slow down. Don't expect to be great at it the first time you try." Duo smiled. "It was a good thing Ken was still nursing when I moved in here. I would have probably poisoned him if he'd had to eat some of the things I made at first. I'm surprised I didn't poison myself."

"Was it really that bad?"

"Your mistaking salt for sugar was nothing compared to some of the things I did. Plus, I damn near burned the kitchen down more than once. The ladies that came to help me out sure had some patience. I really don't know how they kept from putting me out of my misery."

Quatre giggled slightly. "Thanks. I needed to hear that. You don't think I'll be a complete disaster in the kitchen?"  
  


"Not a complete one."

Quatre laughed even harder at that. "Thanks. You just boosted my confidence by so much." He looked down at his now empty plate. "I think that was good but I'm not really sure." He carefully stood up. "I'm going to go see if Trowa's up yet and find out if he's interested in going."

Duo nodded. "Let me know. I don't want to be too late leaving."

"I will." 

Duo sat quietly as he listened to Quatre make his way up the stairs. _I hope he's better at picking berries than he is at picking weeds._ He sighed as he stood up and headed for the pantry to get the things he would need to make a picnic lunch. He had a feeling it was going to be an interesting day.


	6. Chapter 6

New Beginnings Part Six

By SilverLady

Quatre sighed as he leaned back against the tree; trying hard to not let the laughter he felt at the scene in front of him escape. He really wasn't sure who he found funnier though. Heero or Duo.

Much to his delight, everyone had agreed that going out to pick berries and have a picnic sounded like a good idea. Once they had quit grumbling about him waking them up so early. His ears were still ringing from the rant Wufei had gone off on when he had knocked on his door that morning.

The walk to the berry patch had been interesting to say the least. Trowa had hovered behind him at every step, acting as if Quatre was incapable of putting one foot in front of the other. He had been so worried about seeing that Quatre didn't hurt himself, he hadn't seen the hole and had nearly broken his ankle when he had managed to fall. Quatre had been torn about how to react to his lover's sudden fall; telling it served him right for the way he'd been acting, laughing at the look on Trowa's face or worrying that he might be injured.

Fortunately Wufei had saved him from having to react. He had snorted at Trowa's clumsiness, informed him he should be paying attention to where he was going and not where Quatre was and then knelt down to make sure he hadn't seriously injured the ankle. He had announced after a moment that Trowa's pride was probably the more injured part of the young man. Trowa had not dignified that comment with a reply.

The rest had the trip had been made at a slower pace, which Duo had found funny. He had informed Wufei he should be extra carefully since he was now the only fully able bodied person around. To which Ken had immediately informed his father that there was nothing wrong with him. Duo had smiled and told him that he knew that. There had been a strange note in Duo's voice when he had said that.

Quatre sighed again as he looked around the large clearing. Arriving here earlier had been a wonderful sight; the sun shining down through the trees had lit the area up beautifully. He didn't think that the gardens at home could compare to the simple, natural beauty of this mountain field.

"Damn it, Heero!" Duo's voice echoed across the clearing, causing Quatre to turn his attention to where the long haired man was kneeling in the berry patch. Heero was hovering near by, carefully balancing himself on his crutches and trying not to smash the plants surrounding him.

"Daddy said a bad word," Ken called out, giggling at catching his father cursing.

Quatre smiled in amusement at the scene. Heero had been hovering almost as badly as Trowa had been earlier and with almost the same results. The dark haired man really shouldn't be out in the middle of the berry patch, he was rather a threat to the plants with his awkward movements.

Duo sighed as he turned towards Ken's voice. "Yes, I did. And I had better not hear you repeating it. Understand?"

"Yes, Daddy."

"And as for you," Duo continued, turning his attention back to his hovering shadow. "Go sit down before you fall down. I am perfectly capable of picking berries without your help. I was doing it before you came here and I will be doing it after you leave."

"But…"

"No buts, you're going to kill half my patch if you keep this up. You cannot not be stepping on plants every time you move."

Heero had the grace not to reply to the obvious. "I just was making sure you didn't… pick the wrong ones. I mean how…"

Duo put up a hand to stop the other man from putting his foot into more than just another plant. "Ripe berries feel different than unripe ones. I've had plenty of practice learning the difference. Just because I can't see doesn't mean I'm helpless or stupid."

"I didn't mean to imply that. I…"

"Please Heero, I know you are trying to help, but really, you're not. If you want to be a help why don't you go get the food set out? I'm sure that everyone is going to be getting hungry soon, I know I am. And get off that leg for awhile before it starts swelling. We do still have to go back to the house and I don't think you want to be too sore to make it. I sure don't want to listen to Wufei complain about having to carry your heavy ass home."

Heero huffed but didn't argue. He knew that Duo was right; he was just in the way. Moving as carefully as possible he made his way over to where the blond was sitting under a tree, looking more than a bit amused.

"I'm glad you find me so funny." Heero commented as he carefully sat down on the ground. He grudgingly admitted to himself that it did feel good to get off the crutches.

"I just never thought I would see you hover so worryingly over anything. Certainly not another person, male or female."

Heero frowned as he leaned back against the tree. Had he really seemed that cold to his step-brother? "I…"

Quatre reached over and patted his shoulder. "It's a nice change. I hope that Duo realizes what a difference he makes in you."

Heero looked out at the long haired man. "He is quite a special person."

"I'm glad that you finally realized what you lost and I hope that everything works out for both of you. You deserve to be happy with your life. I'm sorry that Father didn't realize that. I never thought that the marriage was the right thing for you."

"But, you never said anything."

"Would you have listened to me? Even if you had thought to come to me with your problems in the first place. You were so tied up in honor and duty that nothing I would have said would have made any difference. Especially since Duo obviously couldn't change your mind. Father had you so convinced that you owed him for everything, I'm sure that disobeying him never crossed your mind."

Heero looked down. "It wasn't just that. I honestly didn't understand what Duo's problem with the situation was. True I was getting married, but I didn't love her. I loved him. I didn't see how being married was going to change that. It seemed to me to be the norm."

"But Duo had more pride than that."

Heero nodded. "He said he wouldn't be the other 'woman', the deep secret kept hidden away in some house in the country."

Quatre blinked. Though he had already this before he wanted some things clarified. "It was that serious to you?"

"I had found this really nice estate a couple of hours ride outside the city. I though Duo would like to get away from all the bad things he'd had in his life and have a home. A real home. I was going to put the place in his name so that he would always have a place to live. I hated that he had ever had to go without. I wanted him to have everything he deserved."

"Except the one thing he wanted most. You."

Heero winced at Quatre's perceptiveness. "I…"

"You would have given him everything he could ever ask for, but you couldn't or wouldn't be there with him. Just an occasional visitor to his house; whenever you could make time to get away from your duties to your wife and position. He doesn't strike as the type of person who would settle for being a part time anything."

"No, he wasn't. He isn't."

"And then, to put a child into that situation wouldn't have made things any better. Especially if Ken had been born before any children from your marriage, which he would have been. He would have been denied his rights as your eldest son simply because he had been born out of wedlock. What would have happened to him, growing up with the label of bastard over him? And how would he have felt having an occasional father, one who came whenever he could get away from his 'real' family?"

Heero closed his eyes. "I know. Even without Ken, the situation wouldn't have been the right thing for Duo. He deserves to have someone who is totally devoted to him. He's lost so much in his life, it was arrogant and foolish of me to ask it of him. But at the time I didn't see it that way. I just thought it was the way to have my cake and eat it too. To do what Father demanded of me and still keep the one thing in my life that actually made me happy. And instead, I lost him and I lost Ken. I've lost five years of my son's life that I will never get back."

"So realize how incredibly lucky you are to have gotten a second chance. Don't mess it up trying to be the same man you were. Duo has learned very well to take care of himself and Ken. He doesn't need you in his life."

Heero looked at Quatre in shock. "What?"

Quatre looked calmly back at him. "He is perfectly capable of handling his life by himself. He doesn't need you and you insult him by even thinking that. But he does want you there. Even if he's afraid that it's too good to be believed right now. You need to show him that you want to be there."

"How?"

"By not treating him like a helpless invalid, because you know he's not. He couldn't have made it this far being helpless. By being there when he asks for your help, but not shoving that help unasked for down his throat. By being an equal partner with him, not the heavy handed lord of all he surveys. By being supportive of what he does and asking the same of him in return."

"A true partnership."

"Got it in one. If he's worth it to you."

Heero looked at Duo as he made his way carefully to where Ken and Wufei were putting the picked berries into larger baskets for the return to the house. "He is."

Quatre smiled as he watched his step-brother. _I think you finally got it. _

A soft huff sounded on his other side as Trowa flopped down beside him. "Okay?"

Quatre turned to look at his love. "I'm fine. Heero and I have just been talking."

"I though he was getting lunch together."

Heero looked over at him. "Got a problem?"

Trowa's stomach growled at that moment, causing Quatre to break out in laughter. Trowa glared downward. "Yeah."

"Feed me?"

"Yeah."

"I thought you hurt your leg, not you arms."

Trowa made a face at him. "No respect. I get no respect from anyone." Rising to his feet he went to get the basket with the food. "And he talks about my arms not being hurt. Don't see anything wrong with his arms. Just cause he's got crutches and I don't."

Quatre wrapped his arms around his swollen stomach as he laughed even harder.

"Don't you think you should stop him before he chokes?" Duo asked as he came up, Ken and Wufei trailing along behind.

Wufei shook his head as he carefully set the large baskets of berries down and went to help Trowa.

"How?" Heero asked, looking at the blond.

Duo shrugged his shoulders. "Got me there."

Ken tugged on Duo's pant leg. "Daddy, is Quatre all right? His face is turning red."

Quatre struggled to bring his laughter under control. "I'm fine," he managed to gasp, getting a toehold on his mirth.

Ken sat down next to him. "You sure? You were laughing awfully hard. What was so funny?"

"Trowa."

"Thank you for finding me so amusing," Trowa retorted as he brought over several containers of food. Wufei came up behind him and started handing out plates and silverware.

"Everyone has to have a purpose in life," he told Trowa.

"And mine is?

"Clown?"

Trowa snorted. "Thank you for that insight, oh wise one."

"Someone must be in this group."

"Hey, I though I was the wise one." Quatre protested.

"The blonde one, wise?"

"Don't start with the blond jokes, buster."

Duo suddenly started laughing.

"What?"

"Nothing," Duo choked out.

"Doesn't sound like nothing to me. You thought of a stupid blond joke, didn't you?"

"Oh, no. I wouldn't." Duo tried to look serious.

"What is it?" Trowa asked. He knew how much Quatre hated blond jokes and it was fun to tease him sometimes. Though Quatre was definitely not a dumb blonde.

"Duo." Quatre warned.

"Yes, please do tell." Wufei commented.

Duo grinned. "They made me do it," he told Quatre. "Okay, Adrianna told me this one. There was a blonde walking along a river bank when she spotted another blond across the river. 'How do you get to the other side?' she called out. The other blonde looked at her, 'You are on the other side.'"

Quatre rolled his eyes as the others started laughing. "Ha ha, very funny. Make fun of the pregnant guy just cause he has golden hair and you don't."

'Golden hair' Heero mouthed in disbelief. Quatre shrugged.

Wufei sat down next to Duo. "Do what are you going to do with the berries we picked today?"

"Mostly make jam out of them."

Wufei looked at the baskets of berries and then remembered all the jars spread around the kitchen that morning. "You have an awful lot of jars for this bit of berries."

Duo smiled. "This is just the beginning. I'll be out here every day for the next couple of weeks picking."

"Weeks?"

"Yeah. And then the things in the garden will start coming on and I'll can and preserve that stuff as well. The next couple of months are very busy for me."

"It seems that extra hands will be greatly appreciated."

"Very much so."

"Well, I don't think I will be a great deal of help in the kitchen, but I certainly will be willing to assist in the harvesting of the produce for you."

Duo blinked at Wufei. "Huh?"

"He'll pick, you can," Quatre translated.

"Oh, okay. If you want. I don't want you to think you have to do it."

"It would be my honor. Working on the land has been very…. soothing. I find I enjoy it a great deal more than I thought I would."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. Except when you've got what seems like a ton of stuff ready to be picked and you don't know what to do first. Then you want to pull your hair out."

Ken looked up from his plate. "Daddy?"

"Yes?"

"Are you going to make that stuff with the berries and the biscuits and the sugar and the cream and stuff?"

"Shortcakes?"

"Yeah, that stuff. Are you?"

"Of course. I know how much you like it."

"Cool. And can we make that ice cream like we did last year? It was really good."

"If you want."

"Neat." He thought for a minute. "And can I help Wufei pick stuff? I'm getting real good at knowing what is ready and what isn't."

"If Wufei doesn't mind."

"I would quite welcome Ken's assistance."

"Thank you." The little boy hopped up and exuberantly hugged Wufei. "I'll be lots of help."

Wufei blinked bemusedly for second before a soft smile graced his face. "I am sure you will be."

Duo sighed as he lay back in the grass. "Anyone for a nap before we head back?"

"I thought you had things to do?" Heero questioned, mentally berating himself for checking out the reclining form in front of him.

"Nothing pressing."

Heero slowly stretched out a short distance away from Duo. "Then a nap sounds like an excellent idea."

Quatre looked around at the woods beyond the clearing. "Is it safe?"

"Safe as anyplace else around here," Duo answered sleepily.

Ken crawled over to curl up next to his father.

Wufei looked at Quatre. "Why don't you rest for a while as well? I will keep watch."

Quatre smiled at him. "You sure?"

"Of course."

Trowa sat down behind Quatre and coaxed him to rest his head against his chest. "Rest, little one."

Quatre sighed. He was a bit tired, even though he hadn't done anything more than watch. "For just a little bit," he whispered as he closed his eyes.

Trowa smiled down at his blond love as he gently ran his fingers through his hair. "Just a bit," he agreed softly, before closing his own eyes.

Wufei smiled at the sight of his friends resting quietly. Then he rose to his feet and began to explore the clearing for any signs of trouble. He would take his duty of guarding his friends rest very seriously. And he would be sure they awoke in plenty of time to return to the house. It was the least he could do.

He looked over to see that Quatre had snuggled more deeply into Trowa's arms and made note of how Heero had rolled ever so close to Duo and Ken.

He sighed. And perhaps one day, he too would be lucky enough to have someone to rest with.


End file.
